What To Do When A Guy Doesn’t Text BackPosted by on May 3, 2013 in Blog | 3 comments
This blog deals with the WHY he doesn’t text back and also with the WHAT to do to change his behaviour.
I want to start this one off by mentioning that guys don’t really prefer texting. Most of the time they just text for 3 reasons:
1. They think that you prefer texting.
2. They find it easier to text rather than talking on the phone.
3. They do it to avoid talking on the phone, at times when they don’t feel like talking.
Most of the time, when they don’t immediately reply to texts it’s usually because they are busy with something else. I think most guys will agree here: men are pretty single minded and deal with things in a task oriented approach. This means that when they’re doing something, moving on to do something else (texting) might break their concentration from the first thing they were doing and as such, avoid doing the other thing until the first one is finished.
The above is probably the most common reason behind why men don’t text in a timely manner. This is why it may happen sometimes but it should NEVER happen all the time.
If it takes him too long to reply back or this happens on a regular basis (such as your example Lisa) here are the other most common reasons:
- He’s really busy with work (meaning this should only occur during work hours)
- He’s not that into you (so he feels he doesn’t really need to respond)
- He might think you’re needy (he might feel pressured so he doesn’t want to reply)
- He doesn’t have the phone near him (but it can’t be an ongoing behaviour)
- He’s with another woman (if you’re not yet exclusive this may actually happen)
- He is playing games (many women play text games, take hours to respond to a guy so he might just be doing the same thing – but this can be quickly rectified)
Unfortunately when you tell men that their behaviour bothers you (Why didn’t you text back? Why didn’t you call? Where are you? etc etc), you might think you’re telling him to change but all he thinks is: “Man this girl is needy!”
It’s very simple. For example, you were talking earlier about meeting later that night but then he goes cold and doesn’t reply for hours…
Instead of complaining to him about his behaviour, just make other plans.
This is by far the best advice I can give you on this topic. Never wait for ANY guy because people in general just want to see how much they can get away with. If you’re always available, he just knows that he has you and will often treat you poorly. All humans value what they work for this is why you need to be less available and never dependent on his time. Act as if you don’t care, especially at the beginning stages of the relationship.
You need to find ways to make this guy work for your affection. The more you make him work the more he will want to have you, the more this happens the more he respects and cherishes you.
This is why men love the chase and that’s why the CHASE needs to happen. If there’s no chase then he has no reason to be with you.
Anyway, going back to the text thing. He doesn’t reply for 3 hours, call your girlfriends and go out. By the time he does reply, 4 hours later or whenever, just say:
“Oops… you didn’t reply so I figured we’re not doing anything tonight and I went out with the girls. Maybe next week.”
This clearly shows the guy, that you’re not going to sit around waiting for him and if he wants your time he better work for you time. This includes responding in a timely manner and putting some actual effort into this whole “relationship”.
If this doesn’t stop his behaviour, I don’t know what will.
If he doesn’t change and you continue to feel frustrated by his behaviour then just forget about him, he obviously doesn’t deserve you. Don’t bend over backwards for someone who won’t even reply to your texts… you don’t want to end up head over heels for someone that couldn’t care less.